There is an old saying in the workplace that says you don’t have to like each other, but you do have to be able to work together.

Kyle Krzmarzick, branch manager of Technisource, an IT and engineering staffing and project solutions company, says personality conflicts are inevitable no matter how well-run an organization is or how happy its employees are.

"In a competitive environment filled with competitive coworkers, people don't always see eye-to eye," says Krzmarzick. "Your employees don't need to be friends with everyone in your office, but we all know there is a business to run and a job to do. That’s why they have to be able to work together. Results drive success, and if they can get results, and remain professional, then the conflict won’t have a lasting effect on the organization or team.”

Workplace politics are like real-life politicians – they’ll never go away, and we’ll never truly figure every quirk and nuance of the people we elect – and work with.  Different strokes for different folks is the nature of the beast, right?

That depends on whom you ask, according to two recent surveys. More than a third (36 percent) of employees polled said the level of office politics has increased greatly compared to five years ago. But when asked the same question in a separate survey, only 12 percent of executives noted such a rise.  The surveys were developed by OfficeTeam, a leading staffing service specializing in highly skilled administrative professionals, and conducted by an independent research firm. The poll of workers includes responses from 720 men and women, all 18 years of age or older and employed. One hundred fifty executives with the nation's 1,000 largest companies were surveyed separately. Respondents were asked, "In your opinion, has the level of office politics in the workplace increased or decreased compared to five years ago?"

Employee responses:

 

Executive responses:

 

 

"Many executives are somewhat removed from the day-to-day conflicts that can arise between employees, and therefore may not be fully aware of challenges that can exist," said Diane Domeyer, executive director of OfficeTeam. To gain a better understanding of their firm's work environment, she encourages managers to observe it from their employees' perspective: What challenges are they under? Is the level of internal competition healthy or detrimental to productivity?

Domeyer noted that greater productivity demands facilitated by advanced technology have resulted in a rise in the number of self-managed and cross-functional work groups. While companies are seeing the benefits of this team structure, it can also become fertile ground for differences of opinion and personality conflicts among workers. She offers the following suggestions to help minimize the impact of office politics:

·         Reward team results - Publicly recognize groups as well as individuals to motivate and inspire. Praising the entire team reinforces the message that collaboration is integral to success.

·         Maintain an open door policy - Be sure that employees feel comfortable sharing their concerns with management. Clear, two-way communication can help identify and diffuse potentially serious conflicts.

·         Avoid creating the "Lone Superstar" - The strongest individual achievers should also be able to work well with others. Make sure the rules of business etiquette apply to all employees equally, regardless of status. "It's not my job" attitudes lie at the root of many politically charged situations.

·         Take active steps to gauge morale - Check in with employees regularly and offer your help in solving problems. Political issues take a toll on employee morale and can ultimately lead to higher staff turnover

The decision of when - and if - to get involved in coworker conflict is crucial. Stepping in too early can cause conflict to escalate, because the employees may have considered it a non-issue. Stepping in too late can be, well, too late. The damage is done, and the two sides may not be able to work cohesively again. Even worse, the employees may leave the company.

Krzmarzick says there is nothing wrong with holding your coworkers accountable and challenging them to work out problems themselves.

"I will generally allow people to work out conflicts and disagreements on their own, in private," he says. "This eliminates the ‘tattletale' and ‘he said-she said.' If it gets hurtful or is done in front of others, I'd step in."

Pamela Holland, author of Help! Was That a Career Limiting Move? and COO for Brody Communications (www.BrodyCommunications.com), which develops and delivers communication skills courses for Fortune 500 technology, pharmaceutical and financial organizations, says managers should get involved the minute they see the conflict compromising the team's productivity, integrity and morale.

 

Paula Rue, who has 15 years experience in human resources management and is vice president of Career Services International, agrees with Holland. "If the (employees) confide in you and ask for your advice, it would be appropriate to step in," she adds. "It may be their way of asking for help without asking directly."

 

When conflict inevitably develops, a discussion with all parties involved could be necessary – but only in private.

 

"Things like this should be done behind closed doors, not in front of others in the office, and never behind someone's back," Krzmarzick says.  The purpose of the meeting, Holland says, is to:

·    Discuss how the employee behavior toward one another is impacting the group in specific terms.

·    Facilitate a productive discussion that surfaces the issues or factors underlying the conflict.
 

·    Explain how the manager is willing to support both parties in resolving the issue.
 

When you do see conflict, step back and try to visualize the process leading up to the problem. Ask why this may have developed, and be as objective as possible. "Look at the behaviors involved - try not to immerse yourself in the personalities or fall prey to your own personal biases," says Holland.

 

Organizational leaders set the tone. They should be a model for diplomatic, direct and open communication. If employees see a leader taking a passive/aggressive, sniping or bury-your-head-in-the-sand approach in conflict with others, they are more likely to follow suit when dealing with their own conflicts.

 

Another potential source of conflict is the workplace bully – the person who may have a leadership position, be the leading sales person, hot-shot marketing executive, or maybe someone who feels they are irreplaceable. They make it uncomfortable for everyone.

 

If a toxic or bullying employee works for you, consider these tips from Jim Tamm, author of Radical Collaboration: Five Essential Skills to Overcome Defensiveness and Build Successful Relationships:

·  Get Your Employee's Attention
Sit down with the employee. Let him know his behavior is unacceptable and if he doesn't change, it will destroy his career -- no matter how competent he is -- because nobody wants to work with a jerk. Tell him the behavior destroys trust and creativity, increases turnover and litigation, and over time will negatively impact the company's bottom line -- and his own.

·  Help Him Identify an Early-Warning System
Highlight when you or coworkers have noticed the worker moving into negative behaviors. For example, whenever the person starts to raise his voice, think the other person is an idiot, feel a charge of energy or notice he is trying to prove the other person wrong, these factors should act as a warning he is becoming ineffective. "They should pick their top two or three negative behaviors and begin to pay very close attention to them, actively being on the lookout for them," says Tamm.

·  Create an Action Plan Ahead of Time
Once the employee starts to act inappropriately and the early-warning system tips him off, the worker can implement a premade action plan. For example, if he yells, the action step could be to consciously become quiet for two minutes.
 

"It will also be helpful to remind the bullies that they are not being asked to turn themselves into wimps but rather simply to knock off the contemptuous and abusive way they are treating others," says Tamm. "They can still be very direct and forceful, and if they drop the contemptuous attitude, they will be much more successful."  And much more respected and easier to work with.

 

Like it’s been said…you don’t have to like each other…but you do have to work together. Easier said than done in many cases, but by following some of these steps above, it can be done.